It was around 2 in the night, the phone rang tring… tring…… My husband woke me up, papa is not well, on the way to the hospital. Heart attack …. I woke up in fear. He went to
the washroom. I told him he will be fine once he was out of
the washroom. To which he replied NO he will not be fine.
And he broke the News. I was shattered and broke into tears
which did not stop for months.
Within a span of a month, I lost both my parents. Even today
a thought can break me into tears.
I am not shy to admit that I was feeling mentally very down. I was convincing myself that “Lata get up, you have the strength”. But your body was telling you to stop. Even your mind was telling you to take a break and step back.
I was trying to push myself to the normal routines of life. But it takes time to heal ourselves.
As we are also conditioned since childhood to say I am FINE when I am not. It takes lots of guts to say No, I am not FINE.
We don’t want to be looked at as mentally weak.
This is very normal to feel, but we don’t speak as we are hesitant.
Trust me, faking to be strong is far worse than admitting to
be weak.
This afternoon, I was talking to my daughter and
discussing whether crying is good or it’s a sign of weakness.
People think we should be mentally strong all the time, but everyone has their own limits, and we should respect that.
If your body is telling you to take a step back, do that. This will help you bring emotions to the surface where you can see them and resolve them.
Why we are always taught to be mentally strong? Why can’t we
be vulnerable at times?
Too much pretending is encouraged in school. Fit in, don’t be different, and definitely don’t be yourself – these are the messages that we are taught.
You are brave, do not cry.
Pretending to be happy is not making you happy/ better.
Let me tell you, people around cannot understand your situation, nobody can except YOU. At least, you should be listening.
This period has taught me a lot of things that I was not
Allowing my emotions to come to the surface, when they eventually came
up, I embraced them.
It's okay to take pause and introspect your feelings rather than faking and moving on. Avoid ignoring and stuffing them, acknowledge and sit with them.
I see all the time my patients, are struggling to be happy and contented and feel good in their lives in spite of having everything. This poor emotional health leads to physical health issues be it obesity or diabetes and all lifestyle disorders and also demotivates them to take consistent actions towards their health.
Mental issues are a reality and everyone goes through them.
Remember, it is okay not to be OK. If you are exhausted and overwhelmed, give yourself permission to rest or do something imperfectly, free of guilt.
Reaching out to people for help when you feel weak is good. I think this worked very well for me. I am grateful to have a bunch of people around me who not only held me tight but also uplifted me.
These emotional breakdowns actually opened a whole new world of self-exploration and self-development.
Come out of this toxic positivity that is telling you to push away your emotions and give space for SELF COMPASSION, which will open up a new whole world to you.
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